"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see"

I wasn’t sure if I would have the time to post this week. I was feeling very overwhelmed with work and I hadn’t even planned a topic. But I had a lot of time in the car yesterday to ponder. And I was thinking back to a conversation that I had with my daughter the other day. She was commenting about how she doesn’t understand why certain situations get me so frustrated. “Is it really worth it to get so upset about something you can’t control, “ she said. She’s right, but that would mean that I would have to give up control. If you ask my kids they would both say “control” could be my middle name. I wondered then, if sharing this story about finding the brighter side in a frustrating situation would help other people like me, who struggle with the illusion of control, shift their perspective. I hope it does.

My daughter was scheduled on an early Monday morning flight out of Boston, so we decided to invite my sister and go into town the night before for a Girl’s Night Out. We had dinner at a fabulous French Restaurant in the Seaport called, Coquette and we finished the night at Mastro’s with dessert cocktails and their famous butter cake, which if you have never had it, you have to try!

The next day I got to spend quality time with my sister walking in the city and enjoying lunch on an outdoor patio at City Tap. When it was time to leave, we used the new text method of requesting our cars from the valet. My sisters truck came around within a few minutes. 10 minutes later my car was still not there. I popped my head in the door where the valet both was located and asked if my car was on the way. “I’ll take care of it, said one of the guys.” “Is this your key,” he says to me, as he is heading to the garage. I told him it looked like my Rav 4 key, but it was a plain black key fob with no name on it. A few minutes later he pulls up a Rav 4 with a Massachusetts plate that it is not my car. He gives me a funny look when I tell him that, and he disappears into the valet area, where I can now see all of the employees talking excitedly and looking for something. I looked at my sister and said, “they have no idea where my keys are.”

This is the point in the situation where I had a choice. I could have gotten angry with the staff and raised my voice. It was unacceptable that they had lost my keys and they needed to rectify the mistake. But, being rude and angry would not have made the situation any better or changed the outcome. All it would have done was ruin the rest of my day. So, somehow I remained calm, and got updates from the staff over the next 5 hours while I worked in the lobby. Everyone was actually very helpful and kind and they were very apologetic. My parking was credited, I got a free nights stay, free drinks, a free dinner, and I did get a lot of work done. In the end, although it was frustrating and not part of my plan to stay in Boston for that long, it was just another day with a situation that I couldn’t control and I chose to make the best of it. When they finally pulled my car around and gave me the new key that they had programmed, I was grateful and I was able to thank them with grace because I had kept my cool.

The notebook in the photo happens to have a very appropriate quote that puts this story in perspective…..”It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” In this case,”It’s not what happens that matters, it’s what you do.”